Revelations while frying...

Maybe I'm sentimental since I haven't fried fish in a while, or maybe it's because it's the end of the semester, but while I was cooking I had a revelation. Not one of the cooking variety; one of the "Wow! That's what's going on!" variety. You know, game-changers. Thinking over some of my past relationships (not that there have been many fish in the sea--sexual or platonic), I realized that not everyone who enters my life is meant to stay. Sometimes I try to hold on to people, hoping that things can remain the same. Sometimes I'm successful, others not so much. But I realize now that in doing so, I'm not only preventing them from fulfilling their mission, but I'm preventing myself from doing so as well.

I think we forget that we are temporal beings. We don't last forever. We're not meant to. Obvious? Sure. Considered? Not often. We get so wrapped up in trying to build things that will last--buildings, legacies, relationships--that we forget that things in this life, things in our life, are not designed to last. Don't get me wrong, certain things and people will remain with us for years. But no matter how long they can hold out, they too must end. Either we leave them, or they leave us. Finitude is hardwired into our existence. This doesn't have to be a fight, or even terrifying. It can be reassuring at times. A great example being school. I mean, I like school, but I can only handle so many more classes! What keeps me going is knowing that there's a light at the end of the tunnel. Still finite doesn't mean pointless. Though it may be finite, my time in school has a purpose in my life. (Heh. Even if it's to be my impetus for joining one of the Occupy movements.)

In the same way, I realize that every person who enters my life has a purpose. Some people are encouragement in times of need. Some people are teachers imparting bits of wisdom. Some people are cultivators helping me grow. And let's be honest, some people are tests, plain and simple! Nonetheless, there's always a purpose. And, like everything else, they're temporal, and, therefore, terminal. Trying to hold someone in place might keep them from being that moment, if you will, for someone else. More to the point, it might keep me from either being that moment for someone or from experiencing my next moment. Life is growth. Growth is change. The more we fight the current of change, the more we miss. What I can do, however, is make sure that I realize every person that I meet has a value. From the P.Oed grocery clerk who throws my eggs in a bag, to the kind lady at the dry cleaners, to the students who encourage by their dedication (haha! and those who don't), I can recognize that they all serve some purpose in my life. Conversely, I serve a purpose in theirs. Really, that's the beauty of it all: that inspiration and a smile can--just as heartache can--come from the least expected places.

Perhaps it wasn't just sentimentality. Perhaps it was. Whatever it was, I've learned people will come into and will leave my life, and that the duration of their time varies. What's important is making sure that I remain open to inevitable end just as much as I am the beginning.

Ha! Who knew fish were so wise?

"The answers are always right in front of you. Just open your eyes."

So, I'm trying to wrap my head around some "new" concepts. Writing (my form of verbalization) is the best way to put my thoughts in order...or, at least, hurry them on their little way to being in order.

I found a list of 70 Reminders to help put life in perspective, and--as always--I felt compelled to actually do something. This is useful because, well, I constantly need reminders. Okay, more like slaps in the face, but these work as well. A few things stuck out:

68. the only thing you can change about people is your relationship with them.
64. using age-old methods to solve new-age problems is setting yourself up for failure.
45. the answers are always right in front of us. Just open your eyes.
1. Believe that even the smallest compliment can save someone's life.

Out of 70 statements, these four stuck out. Not because the rest were crap, but because these four fit where I'm at in my life, the most. if I'm on my journey to be like the crystal, then I need to open myself up. Recognizing the potential in every connection, in every interaction is a powerful place to start because, well, I am at least 50 percent of that interaction. While I may not be able to change the way the other person feels, I can change the way that I behave towards them...hmm, illumination is happening already--this is both great and scary.

Um, sorry, where was I? Oh, yeah. By learning to appreciate others I better open myself up to be like that crystal.

The crystal needs, light in order to show its transparency, right? I mean, how do we understand a crystal to be a crystal other than by its qualities, and if one of its major qualities is translucence, then without this transparency the crystal would just be another rock. But that's not just it; in order to be transparent, the crystal is dependent on its interaction with the light. Without the light passing through it--interacting with it--there would be no way to discover the crystal's transparency. Now, I understand this is a grossly oversimplified rundown of both the philosophy of interactions, and the physics of light, but it makes sense.

The key to being transparent (open) is in recognizing that my interactions with other people are not only key to their own happiness, but key to my own. By recognizing the value in each person, I can better recognize the value in myself, not on a scale of better-thans, but on a plane of equality.

In the end, the answers have really been right in front of me. I've just had my eyes closed. It's time to open them to what's before me. One blink at a time, until I can keep them open.