Revelations while frying...

Maybe I'm sentimental since I haven't fried fish in a while, or maybe it's because it's the end of the semester, but while I was cooking I had a revelation. Not one of the cooking variety; one of the "Wow! That's what's going on!" variety. You know, game-changers. Thinking over some of my past relationships (not that there have been many fish in the sea--sexual or platonic), I realized that not everyone who enters my life is meant to stay. Sometimes I try to hold on to people, hoping that things can remain the same. Sometimes I'm successful, others not so much. But I realize now that in doing so, I'm not only preventing them from fulfilling their mission, but I'm preventing myself from doing so as well.

I think we forget that we are temporal beings. We don't last forever. We're not meant to. Obvious? Sure. Considered? Not often. We get so wrapped up in trying to build things that will last--buildings, legacies, relationships--that we forget that things in this life, things in our life, are not designed to last. Don't get me wrong, certain things and people will remain with us for years. But no matter how long they can hold out, they too must end. Either we leave them, or they leave us. Finitude is hardwired into our existence. This doesn't have to be a fight, or even terrifying. It can be reassuring at times. A great example being school. I mean, I like school, but I can only handle so many more classes! What keeps me going is knowing that there's a light at the end of the tunnel. Still finite doesn't mean pointless. Though it may be finite, my time in school has a purpose in my life. (Heh. Even if it's to be my impetus for joining one of the Occupy movements.)

In the same way, I realize that every person who enters my life has a purpose. Some people are encouragement in times of need. Some people are teachers imparting bits of wisdom. Some people are cultivators helping me grow. And let's be honest, some people are tests, plain and simple! Nonetheless, there's always a purpose. And, like everything else, they're temporal, and, therefore, terminal. Trying to hold someone in place might keep them from being that moment, if you will, for someone else. More to the point, it might keep me from either being that moment for someone or from experiencing my next moment. Life is growth. Growth is change. The more we fight the current of change, the more we miss. What I can do, however, is make sure that I realize every person that I meet has a value. From the P.Oed grocery clerk who throws my eggs in a bag, to the kind lady at the dry cleaners, to the students who encourage by their dedication (haha! and those who don't), I can recognize that they all serve some purpose in my life. Conversely, I serve a purpose in theirs. Really, that's the beauty of it all: that inspiration and a smile can--just as heartache can--come from the least expected places.

Perhaps it wasn't just sentimentality. Perhaps it was. Whatever it was, I've learned people will come into and will leave my life, and that the duration of their time varies. What's important is making sure that I remain open to inevitable end just as much as I am the beginning.

Ha! Who knew fish were so wise?

Life lessons from a fortune cookie: Part 1(?)

"A new wardrobe brings great joy and change to your life."
--Fortune Cookie, 4.16.11

So I opened a fortune cookie today. I've found that sometimes the messages hidden within those little golden cookies are a bit hit or miss. They range from hysterical to right on the money. Today's cookie fortune was right on the money.

What is it about a new wardrobe that can bring more joy or change? Is it the thrill of having new fabric press against your flesh? Is it the thrill of being able to reconstruct your image? or is it the potential that comes from getting rid of all of the old clothes that tie you to an image of yourself that no longer fits? I think it's a bit of all of these. As I see it, wearing the same old clothes becomes mundane and monotonous after a while. After so many years of seeing the same shirt against the same pants, it becomes a bit intimidating. You lose the thrill, you lose the passion of living. Since what you wear--what you have around you--is a direct reflection on who you are, if you are constantly wearing the same things, it can become a bit saddening because there is never any change. Granted, some people hate change. I am not talking to, or about, these people. Most of us, however, want change--in one form or another. Having the same wardrobe, then, is a reflection of the static states of our lives.

It is for this reason that I feel that a new wardrobe can be so powerful. Getting rid of the old and instituting a new "image," if you will, is a great way to reflect that things are no static. Don't get me wrong, I know that certain articles of clothing carry sentimental value. This is not to say that everything and anything should be discarded. Sometimes something as simple as getting rid of one or two pieces of "old" clothing and replacing them with a few new pieces can constitute a "new wardrobe." What this does is it brings a sense of excitement back to the closet--back to your life. Suddenly you can't wait to try out that new shirt, or those new pants. You can't wait to take them out and see how they make you feel. Sometimes, even, looking at them hang in the closet is enough to make you excited. It is this excitement that a new wardrobe can bring. This is something that most (if not all) crave. This is something that I, as of late, have been missing.

On a decidedly less metaphorical level, I've been stressed this year. More so than I think I should be, honestly. Now, I know life will bring with it its stresses, its pressures, its burdens; but, there's no need to unnecessarily put myself in the line of fire. As the movie title goes, "I can do bad all by myself," so I don't need anything, or anyone, helping me along. Therefore, I have decided to get "a new wardrobe," so to speak. It's time to take out the ill-fitting clothes and find things that reflect who I am--or push me towards who I want to be.

Yeah, you do have a problem. It's called discipline.

I don't remember there being as many kids on medicine when I was growing up. Boy have times changed. We have pills for everything. You gotta problem, they have a pill. There are pills to treat attention deficits, there are pills to treat growth deficiencies, there are pills to treat the effects of the pills that treat depression.

I propose a new pill: a pill that enhances one's desire to take responsibility for their own actions.

What this pill will do is it will block the neurons that cause a person to shirk their duties, making them more willing to perform the things they know they must do. It will also inhibit the growth of ideas that encourage blaming others. In addition to this, it will heal scars caused by bitterness and victimhood.

I suppose it must be noted that there are, as with all pills, side effects. It may cause: intense pain in the heart (as it brings about the realization that many of the problems in one's life stem from within, and not others); sweating (from the pressure to constantly do what is morally sound, even when things would be easier deflecting); and random bouts of crying (because the world is much more beautiful when you realize you have power to change it from within yourself). There may be more side effects, but the pill is still in its formative stages.

Hm. I don't think this will ever make it, though. Until then, I'll propose a simple campaign; a campaign aimed at each person taking responsibility for the actions that they themselves choose to commit. A campaign aimed at helping everyone understand that it's not the world, it's you.

And, I'll start with me.