Things are looking a bit familiar; it's both comforting and disturbing, though.
I've realized I'm (almost) full circle, here.
I'd like to say that I've learned my lesson. I suppose only time will tell.
This time, instead of impatiently running through, I'll take my time; feel it out. Every inch, every breath; I'll live in it.
I won't let myself get the best of me; I won't destroy my chances.
I'll be patient and I'll give my all, even if it breaks me: it'll be worth it; that much, I'm sure.
Full circle isn't such a bad thing, then (so long as the lesson's been learned).
It's a blessing, in disguise, really.
I won't mess this one up with my impatience.
Showing posts with label reflection. Show all posts
Showing posts with label reflection. Show all posts
Thursday, November 17, 2011
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
This is what thesis writing does to me at midnight (okay, anytime, really)...
I think we have it backwards. Plants don't need us; we need them.
I was writing my on my thesis and I began to think of what it means to make an existence. (I don't care, it's fun for me :-P.) I thought about how people rely on other people to "prove" or validate who they are. Society, and granted most education, has become so anthropocentric that we seem to have returned to the pre-Copernican days. Everything from animals to plants have been scripted to "depend" on humans for their existence. We see this in the films we watch (Battle: LA, anyone?) where things cry out for recognition from Man--either through war, "extinction," or some other catastrophe that only man can deactivate or cancel out--or those things that do not beg Man's mercy are doomed to destruction (that's right. Anything that resists our gaze is doomed to "non-existence.").
But, then it hit me: Man is not the center of the world!
This thought first came to mind when I was thinking about plants. Yes. Plants. Plants don't need us. They have existed for millennia without our help. How, one may ask? They live in a symbiotic harmony with the rest of their environment. Think Avatar, here (no, not the bald one; the blue ones). Things are connected to one another so that there really is no "individual" flower. Each is recognized in that it does not exist outside of the others--of course, until some yo-yo comes along and plucks one--and it only recognizes itself in relation to one another. One is constantly becoming the other as they (co)exist. Neither is ever singularly whole, but instead they are simultaneously completing one another.
Now, granted, I realize that it may sound like I am riding the fairy dust, or something, but I'm not. This all makes sense. There's an interconnectivity out there that we humans seem to want to fight against (we call this RACISM). And, yes, I acknowledge that there are those beings who eat and kill one another. But even this is part of the symbiotic inter-connected relationship in which they exist. It is predominantly humans who pervert this relationship with mindless, unnecessary killings.
So, instead of trying to make someone see you or acknowledge you, try to just exist with them. The world shouldn't be about recognition. It should be about a harmonic (co)existence because only then, will things start to make sense.
Now, back to that thesis.
I was writing my on my thesis and I began to think of what it means to make an existence. (I don't care, it's fun for me :-P.) I thought about how people rely on other people to "prove" or validate who they are. Society, and granted most education, has become so anthropocentric that we seem to have returned to the pre-Copernican days. Everything from animals to plants have been scripted to "depend" on humans for their existence. We see this in the films we watch (Battle: LA, anyone?) where things cry out for recognition from Man--either through war, "extinction," or some other catastrophe that only man can deactivate or cancel out--or those things that do not beg Man's mercy are doomed to destruction (that's right. Anything that resists our gaze is doomed to "non-existence.").
But, then it hit me: Man is not the center of the world!
This thought first came to mind when I was thinking about plants. Yes. Plants. Plants don't need us. They have existed for millennia without our help. How, one may ask? They live in a symbiotic harmony with the rest of their environment. Think Avatar, here (no, not the bald one; the blue ones). Things are connected to one another so that there really is no "individual" flower. Each is recognized in that it does not exist outside of the others--of course, until some yo-yo comes along and plucks one--and it only recognizes itself in relation to one another. One is constantly becoming the other as they (co)exist. Neither is ever singularly whole, but instead they are simultaneously completing one another.
Now, granted, I realize that it may sound like I am riding the fairy dust, or something, but I'm not. This all makes sense. There's an interconnectivity out there that we humans seem to want to fight against (we call this RACISM). And, yes, I acknowledge that there are those beings who eat and kill one another. But even this is part of the symbiotic inter-connected relationship in which they exist. It is predominantly humans who pervert this relationship with mindless, unnecessary killings.
So, instead of trying to make someone see you or acknowledge you, try to just exist with them. The world shouldn't be about recognition. It should be about a harmonic (co)existence because only then, will things start to make sense.
Now, back to that thesis.
Friday, April 1, 2011
Does it show?
I will be 28 this year. I just realized this. It's funny, I'm almost 30 years old, and I don't know what this means. Part of me feels as if I should have "accomplished" something by now. Part of me feels as if I am "accomplishing" something. I mean, 30 is a milestone, right? Why? Does this mean that I am no longer young?
Honestly, I am not sure what this all means. This lack of certainty saddens me, too. I think I should have it figured out by now. Alas, but I don't. There is a quote that seems to have lodged itself in my head: "Life isn't about finding yourself. It's about creating yourself." I suppose this is what I'm [subconsciously] doing. I've done the "let's search for me" routine and it's gotten me nowhere, really. Lately, I seem to be playing-it-by-ear. It's a bit scarier, but at least it's a forward motion.
So, what does all of this mean for an almost-thirty-year-old? Well, it creates the aforementioned question. It leaves holes and questions. It makes things scary and, yet, possible. The possibilities. That, I suppose is the most rewarding thing I have received from this path. For me, 30 doesn't have to be an over-the-hill; it can be just another patch of grass. Tomorrow is potential. And 30 holds all of the potential I want it to hold!
Honestly, I am not sure what this all means. This lack of certainty saddens me, too. I think I should have it figured out by now. Alas, but I don't. There is a quote that seems to have lodged itself in my head: "Life isn't about finding yourself. It's about creating yourself." I suppose this is what I'm [subconsciously] doing. I've done the "let's search for me" routine and it's gotten me nowhere, really. Lately, I seem to be playing-it-by-ear. It's a bit scarier, but at least it's a forward motion.
So, what does all of this mean for an almost-thirty-year-old? Well, it creates the aforementioned question. It leaves holes and questions. It makes things scary and, yet, possible. The possibilities. That, I suppose is the most rewarding thing I have received from this path. For me, 30 doesn't have to be an over-the-hill; it can be just another patch of grass. Tomorrow is potential. And 30 holds all of the potential I want it to hold!
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